Be Just Amongst your Children! A Friday Sermon by the Mufit of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh ‘Abdul-‘Azeez Aali ash-Shaykh

A Beneficial Friday Sermon given by Ash-Shaykh, al-Muftee ‘Abdul-‘Azeez Aali ash-Shaykh (May Allah protect him from every harm and evil)

First Part of Sermon:

To proceed, O’ People fear Allah Most High with the utmost of Taqwaa (piety). O’ Muslims it has been authenticated that the Prophet (peace & blessings be upon him) said, “Those who are just and fair on the Day of Judgment will be on pulpits of light from the right hand of ar-Rahmaan the Mighty & Majestic and both of His Hands are right, those who are just and fair in their authority, with their family, and with what they are guardians over”. O’ Muslim being just and fair is a quality of the believer, the believer is described as being just and fair, he was made to be just and fair while distancing himself from all forms of oppression whether in the rulings which they are derived from or in his dealing with those he rules over or in his dealing with his children. Being just and fair is desired from him in all of his situations.

{Indeed Allah has commanded with justice/fairness and goodness} Soorat-un-Nahl: 90

Allah has commanded with justice and fairness and He has prohibited oppression. Therefore the manners of the believer are done with justice and fairness in all conditions whether they are few or many. There should be neither oppression nor transgression only justness and balanced fairness. Just look at the final destination of the People of Justness on the Day of Judgment. They will be on pulpits of light at the right side of ar-Rahmaan. Why? Because they were just in their authority, just in what they ruled over, and just concerning their family.

O’ Muslim being just is required of you when it comes to your children. The biggest right given to mankind is to be just with your children who are from the depths of your loins. They are the ones whom Allah has blessed you with. Indeed children are a blessing from the many blessings of Allah upon his servant. They by the Tawfeeq (success) of Allah are an extension to ones life. They preserve his name and his name will remain preserved as long as the children are alive. They are a remembrance for him after his death and of the next life after the separation of this life. So based on this they are commanded to watch over them, to raise them and guide them and to educate them to have good manners until they become those who will aide them upon what is good and they will be the cause of happiness for them in this life and in the hereafter.

O’ Muslim when the child is brought up with good upbringing and perfects his behavior he will benefit himself and he will benefit his parents in addition to benefitting society. But when the child is brought up with a bad upbringing and he acts with bad manners then the parents will feel wretchedness for this child just as he will cause wretchedness to his own soul in addition to society.

O’ Muslim indeed Allah the Mighty & Majestic has informed us of His Prophets whom He sent to their people that they would request righteous offspring from their Lord such as Ibraaheem when he said: {O’ my Lord bestow upon me those who will be righteous.} Soorat-us-Saaffaat: 100

And this is what Zakariyyaa said: {O’ my Lord do not allow me to be left without children, You are the best of those who give to be inherited.} Soorat-ul-Anbiyaa: 89

And he also said: {Bestow upon me as You are the Protector He causes to be inherited as He caused the People of Ya’qoob to inherit.} Soorah Maryam: 5 -6

And Ibraaheem peace be upon him also said: {O’ my Lord establish a place of prayer for me and for my descendants.} Soorah Ibraaheem: 40

O’ Muslim indeed a child is a blessing from Allah bestowed upon the servant that he should thank Allah for and he should perform the rights placed upon him concerning the children. O ‘ Muslim indeed from the causes of oppressing the children is when the father separates them and disregards justness and fairness between them displaying his love to some while displaying his discontent for the others. He leans towards this one while neglecting the other. He gets closer to him, he showers him with gifts, he subdues difficulties for him and responds to his requests and he gives to him what he needs from those things of the Dunya that he may need. As for the other children then they are kept at a distance, cut off, treated harshly, deprived, and not given the likes of what their other brothers (and sisters) are given, why? Are you not the father of them all O’ father? Are they not all your children? Why this separation? Why this underhanded way of treatment? Why this oppression and transgression?!

Noble father think about this negative behavior for a moment and come to grip with the fact that the end results are harmful. It is harmful against you first and then against them.

Firstly it is harmful against you because you have disobeyed Allah by loving some of your children at the exclusion of the others. You have committed disobedience to Allah by oppressing them while depriving some and favoring the others. By this action you have disobeyed Allah before anything else. On the Day of Judgment you will see an evil outcome and will meet Allah being from those who oppressed others.

Secondly you are ruining your worldly affairs so these children of yours are disobedient and harsh with you. You are the reason for their disobedience to you and their severing the ties of kinship with you and their disobedience to you and their non-compassion towards you since they see you constantly displaying sternness, harshness, roughness, and bad treatment.

Thirdly these children whom you have showed preference towards against the others then you have kindled the fire of animosity amongst them. You have ignited tribulations between them, you have separated their hearts, you have torn their unity, you have created a rift between them, and you have left them to fight one another, boycott one another and to distance themselves from one another. They hate and dislike one another. So who is the cause of this? Who is the one who is guilty? Indeed the perpetrator is you O’ father. If you do not fear Allah concerning them and if you do not act justly between them then the evil results will be you carrying their burden, the burden of their rift and their mutual fighting and chaos.

O’ noble father it is from the Tawfeeq of Allah that you be just and fair amongst your children. And that you display for all of them a set of rules for them as if there were one set of rules. Not showing preference to some of them over the others. Do not display preference amongst them under any circumstance.

O’ noble father you make excuses when you say, “this son listens to me and obeys me, this one is righteous towards me and they are distant from me, they do not benefit and they do this, and do that, and do this…” Yes some of the children will have some of these issues and this is not unlikely but does the use of error cure error!? Does causing a rift cure the rift that already exists? Because you preferred some over the others you added in the rift and hatred. But if you were just between them then your fairness towards them by the Tawfeeq of Allah will bring their hearts together, gather their differences, and spread love amongst them then they will look at you in the state of respect, esteem, and nobility. They will act righteous with you and do good towards you. So if that occurs then the end result of good is by the Tawfeeq of Allah.

O’ Muslim indeed our Prophet (peace & blessings be upon him) is the Prophet of mercy, he is the one in which Allah said of him: {And We did not send you except as a mercy to the worlds.} Soorat-ul-Anbiyaa: 107

The Prophet of mercy (peace & blessings be upon him) directed the fathers to the straight path and warned them from oppression and transgression. Aboo an-Nu’maan bin Basheer came to the Prophet saying, “O’ Messenger of Allah this mother has requested from me that I bestow a gift upon her son and that you bear witness for her.” So what did he (peace & blessings be upon him) say? He directed a question to this father asking, “Do you give to all of your children equally?” Does this gift that you give include all of the children? He responded, “No.” He said, “Do you like that they be righteous to you equally?” He responded in the affirmative and he said, “So do so then.” So if you desired that their piety be equally given to you then why do you prefer some over the others? And in another narration he said, “Does he have brothers?” He answered, “Yes.” He asked, “Do you give to all of them?” He said, “No.” He said, “Then return the gift to her.” And in another narration he said, “I do not bear witness based on tyranny.” Meaning that the Messenger refrained from giving testimony and requested another to be a witness based on the shamefulness of that action and the shamefulness of that gift. And that the Prophet refrained from the testimony of it due to its corruption, oppression, and tyranny. He (peace & blessings be upon him) is a created being far from oppression and tyranny, he impelled them to being just and being good.

O’ noble father there is a mistake committed by some of the people in favoring some of their children which in any shape or form is still considered favoritism. One day he gives the child a gift and another day he makes it seem as if he bought something. And Allah knows that he did not buy anything rather he intended to give a gift. But he makes it look as if he bought something for the sake of covering up. {And Allah knows the corrupted person from the one who does good.} Soorat-ul-Baqarah: 220

O’ noble father at times your favoritism has caused you to be harsh with of some of them as previously mentioned in addition to the love you show towards one group of children’s mother while showing contempt towards the other group of children’s mother. Make the love towards your wives just since you give bountifully to one group of the family and shelter them but if you desired fairness then fear Allah concerning them and with what is in your own self from those affections that you display towards some of them. Do not display these feelings of favoritism openly keep them to yourself. Out in the open display to them that in your estimation they are all alike. Do not favor some over the others, not when in a gathering nor when addressing them. Do not favor some over the others when engaged in conversation with one another nor when visiting. Not in anything. Make all of them feel that you are a loving, merciful, and affectionate father to them. All will feel within themselves that you are such.

If you desire to leave a will as well after death then make sure to be fair in the will. Do not make one to gain more benefit than another. Rather refer the issue to one who will appropriate it and who is welcome to it and remove any blameworthiness found within and who will clarify it and what is (written) in it until no one is made to be favored more than the other.

O’ noble father indeed our rightly guided predecessors used to adhere to this prophetic manner in being just between their children to the point that some of the Taabi’een used to say that they were just between the young boys even when it came to kissing (them). Meaning that when one kissed the younger son he also kissed the other as well so that no one felt that one was better than the other.

Indeed the seeds of benefit are in the souls and directing the children to have good manners and raising them to keep the ties and loving them is an issue in the Hands of Allah then your hand O’ father. So when you are separated from the life of this world all of the children will say, “Allah have mercy upon our father, forgive our father, reward him with good, he raised us and treated us well, and he left us to inherit good and we are favored by him.” All of them will supplicate for you and seek mercy for you. Or it will be that when you depart from the life of this world they will say, “May Allah curse our father, sever our father, and cause us comfort away from our father; since the love of this world is deep rooted in the souls. Love of this life is a tribulation and Allah says: {He does not ask you for your wealth. If He were to ask you of it and press you, you would be stingy and He will bring out all of your ill-wills.} Soorat-ul-Muhammad: 36-37

Thus the life of this world causes hatred and rifts because the life of this world is one of the many connections used by Iblees to transgress by it amongst creation whomever he desires. So fear Allah my Muslim brother concerning your children with the utmost of piety it will cause you to be just and distance you from oppression.

O’ Muslim indeed Allah the Glorious and Most High is the Most Just of those who show justice. He divides the inheritance amongst the servants. He says:

{Allah advises you concerning your children to the male a portion equal to that of two females…} then He says: {your fathers and your children you do not know which of them are closer to you in benefitting.} Soorat-un-Nis’aa: 11

At times some of the fathers view their daughters with contempt. Why? One makes an effort so that the daughters will not receive their portion from him. He marries this one off from the sons and gives that one a place to stay and this one he does this and so on and so forth but the daughters do not obtain a portion if any from their fathers. He tries while still alive to distribute the inheritance and specify the male while the female states, “They are with their wives while my portion of the wealth is given to them?” Thus you see him striving to keep (the wealth) from the daughters and if he is not able to keep their inheritance then in the manner in which he treats her while alive which indicates his intent to prevent them from their rights. This is disobedience to Allah since Allah has divided the inheritance amongst the males and females. Then Allah ends (the aforementioned verse) by saying:

{These are the ordainments of Allah and whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger will be admitted to Gardens under which rivers flow to abide therein forever, and that will be the great success. But whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger and transgresses His limits, He will cast him into the Fire, to abide therein forever; and he shall have a disgraceful torment.} Soorat-un-Nis’aa: 13-14

Thus the daughters have a right in the inheritance and whoever tries to prohibit them or prevent the issuance of wealth from the will so that the daughter does not obtain anything then Allah knows that is his intention and indeed he is one who oppresses and who is evil and one who is disobedient to Allah and to His Messenger. It is not permissible for the Muslim to act this way. Allah knows his intention is to exclude the daughters and reduce their share and prevent them from taking part in the right that was legislated for them.

So the Muslim should fear his Lord and know that piety and keeping the ties of kinship are causes to good. Whoever begins with it and adheres to the Sunnah concerning his children he has followed it and has behaved with the best of manners. And if he causes a rift and transgression between them and ignites the flame of Fitnah between them then he is the one who will bear those burdens.

I ask Allah to establish me and all of you upon the truth and to adhere to it. I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan. {O’ you who believe be of those who establish justice bearing witness to Allah even if against your selves or your children or relatives whether rich or poor and Allah is more suitable than them both so do not follow your desires when being just and if you turn away or reject indeed Allah will inform you all of what you used to do.} Soorat-un-Nisaa’a: 135

May Allah bless you all by the Mighty Quran and cause it to benefit me and all of you by the verses that it contains and by the wise reminder that it has. I end this first portion of my speech and I seek Allah the Almighty the Glorious’ forgiveness for me and for all of the Muslims from every sin. Seek His Forgiveness and repent to Him. Indeed He is the One Who Forgives, the One Who is Merciful.

Second Part of Sermon:

All praise is for Allah, a praise filled with ample good as our Lord loves and is pleased with. I testify that there is nothing worthy of worship except for Allah, He is Alone having no partner and I testify that Muhammad is His Servant and His Messenger. May the blessings of Allah be upon him and his companions and may He send complete and abundant peace upon him until the Day of Judgment. To proceed: O’ people fear Allah the Most High with the utmost of Taqwaa (piety). All of you must adhere to being fair and just for indeed there is blessing and mercy in being fair and just. O’ Muslim do not think that preference will increase the wealth of the one who prefers a person over the other.

Maybe you have favored one of them and Allah has caused reduction in his wealth and removed the blessing from what he has obtained and caused him to become poor after being wealthy. His brothers supplicate against him hating and loathing him and supplicate against you and against him. Whenever they look at his possessions and it is plentiful and then they look at themselves and they were not given anything then they supplicate against him and they hold him as well as you as being the oppressors. How many supplications of the one who is oppressed afflict the one who is oppressing and efface the Barakah (blessing) and Rizq (provision)?

Therefore fear Allah my brother and be fair with your children. Allah the Glorious and Most High is al-Ghanee (the Self-Sufficient), al-Hameed (the One deserving praise). All of creation is poor to Allah. {If one is rich or poor Allah is a more suitable Protector than them both.} Soorat-un-Nisa’a: 135

ar-Rizq (provision) is from the Hand of Allah and al-Barakah (blessing) is that which Allah causes blessing to be made manifest in. Not by way of your oppression, tyranny, and bad behavior.

So fear Allah servants of Allah and adhere to the manners of Islam for indeed they contain goodness for you in this life and in the hereafter. You should all know – may Allah bless you – that the best of speech is the Book of Allah and the best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) and the most evil of affairs are those that are newly invented as every innovation is misguidance. It is obligatory upon you to stick to the general body of Muslims. Indeed the Hand of Allah is over the general body of Muslims. Whoever is harsh will be dealt with harshly in the hellfire. Pray upon the Servant of Allah and His Messenger as you have been commanded to do by your Lord, the Most High says:

{Indeed Allah and His Angels pray upon the Prophet, O’ you who believe pray upon him with complete peace.} Soorat-ul-Ahzaab: 56

O’ Allah send prayers and peace and blessings upon Your Servant and Messenger Muhammad. O’ Allah and be pleased with his rightly guided Khulafaa (the four Caliphs; Aboo Bakr, ‘Umar, ‘Uthmaan, and ‘Alee may Allah be pleased with them).

Given at al-Imaam Turkee bin ‘Abdillah Masjid in Riyaadh, K.S.A on 10/11/1424
Translated by Thomas Maldonado
Arabic source: http://alminbar.al-islam.com/Default.aspx?Action=SpeachDetails&mediaItURL=6772&subsubID